Many people feel as if there isn’t enough time for them to accomplish in life what they feel they are “Suppose to do”. If we look closely at our lives we can see that the most important moments happened within seconds or minutes. Time is an illusion, stop racing a game that can never be won. When we learn to embrace the now we accomplish much more than the mind can conceive or achieve.
-Michelle
*Present time refers to the practice of living in the moment, the art of not thinking and feeling in the past or the future. The average person is present for 11 seconds out of every minute, leaving the rest of the time for dis-ease and self sabotage to occur.
Tags: Guidance
Create a story of WOW that will be retold. – Jeffrey Gitomer
Stop telling the story of what is. In other words, stop re-telling how things are right now in your life or what your reality appears to be, especially if the story is negative. If the story you are telling about yourself makes you feel bad or generates even more negative feelings, stop!
Instead start telling a story of what you are becoming, what you hope to be, what your future dreams are and how you are getting to them. Use your future dreams as a way to make your present moment feel a little bit better. Tell a story that makes yourself and others smile.
This seemingly simple technique is incredibly powerful and can seriously change your attitude and direction in life. When you talk to people about all the “bad” things happening in your life, you set up a thought process that precludes being happy. When you begin using your imagination to visualize where you want to be and what it would feel like, not only does your level of happiness increase but your attitude and perspective dramatically improve.
It may be hard to start this process, so find a something easy, something that gives you a little smile or good feeling when you think about it. Take that idea and expand on it. Try to imagine how good you will feel when you get there. Tell this story to yourself and others.
I have used this technique a lot over the years and find it to be very beneficial.
Have a good day!
Michael
A man’s worst enemies can’t wish on him what he can think up himself.- Yiddish Proverb
All of us have two choices at any moment in time. We can either be our worst enemy or our best friend. Many of us tend to be the one who is most critical of ourselves. Other people can be critical but not nearly as intense as we are internally.
The good news is that we can be the one that supplies the most inspiration, gives the most encouragement and improves our overall attitude. The praises of others are wonderful to receive but are not long lasting, sometimes only fleeting at best. Also, depending on others for making us feel good is dangerous. What if those people go away? What if they are focused on something other than you at the moment? What will you do then; look for someone else to feed your good feelings? Unfortunately it’s not a long lasting solution.
It’s what we tell ourselves every day that makes the difference in our lives. Criticism or encouragement. Hatred or love. Guilt or freedom. Fear or relaxation.
Try to start looking at what your internal voice is telling you. Is it a positive or negative message? If it is a negative message, start working on changing small areas to be more positive. If it is generally a positive message, look for ways to take that to a new level of feeling good.
The culmination of your thoughts over time makes you who you are. If you start to make changes now, you will soon see the fruits of your labor in the near future.
Michael
Tags: Emotional Health
The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance. – Nathaniel Braden
We generally change ourselves for one of two reasons: inspiration or desperation. – Jim Rohn
I think one of the most difficult concepts for people to comprehend is that before you can change, you must accept where you are first. Many people think that the acceptance of something they do not want means that the unwanted thing stays. But, actually, the opposite is the truth.
When we choose not to accept something we don’t like about ourselves, it actually focuses our minds more on the very thing we don’t like. We fret about. We worry about it. We judge ourselves. We feel self conscious. We feel guilty and etc. All of this negative attention prevents us from making the change we so desperately want.
That’s where acceptance comes in. To start the process of change, you must accept where you are or accept the very thing you want to change. For example, use words like “I have this thing I don’t like, but it’s not permanent. It doesn’t define who I really am. It’s helped me understand what I truly desire. It has made me stronger. Etc.”
It’s important that when you are trying to accept something you don’t like about yourself that you use words that are believable. If you don’t, then the acceptance you are looking for will not come or will be much harder.
Once you accept, change becomes easier. Your mind is then freed from the confines of dislike and non-acceptance which allows your creativity and drive to help you change.
Remember, be easy on yourself.
Michael
The future belongs to those who see possibilities before they become obvious. – Author Unknown
If we can learn to not get distracted by what is going on around us, we allow ourselves to see future possibilities. When we worry, over think our lives, experience fear, deal with anxiety, see only the negative things or continually complain about our situation then the future is bleak. We don’t see what can change or what we can become. If we only look at what is, then we have difficulty looking at what can be.
One method to get out of this cycle is to tell a different story. Instead of talking about how things are, especially if it is a negative story, talk about how you would like things to be. Make it a story filled with hope instead of despair, joy instead of sadness, excitement instead of mediocrity. Tell the story from a place of what you want instead of from a place of what you don’t have. As you tell this new story, make sure you feel some positive emotion; i.e. a little bit of happiness, hope, excitement, anticipation of good things coming and etc.
Doing this “story telling” internally will begin to help you break the bonds of looking only at what you don’t have and how negative your situation is currently. You can also tell this new story to friends. Make sure it is something believable for yourself. For example, if you want to win the lottery but don’t really believe you will, then don’t tell that story. Instead, talk generally about what you will be able to do and how it will feel when you have more money than you do now. This is a much better approach mentally and will help you keep a more positive emotional state then making up a story that is impossible in your mind.
Over time your attitude will shift, your eyes will open more to future possibilities and less to what is going on around you.
Michael
The future comes one day at a time. – Dean Acheson
Taking life one day at a time can be a lot less stressful than other alternatives. Taking the future one day at a time takes it another step forward. What I mean by this is that most of us have a tendency to worry and fret about things, particularly the past and the future.
Worrying is never a good thing nor does it ever make you feel good. Its only purpose is to create anxiety and stress. When we worry about the future, we make our present moment not fun and at the worst unbearable.
An alternative to worrying about the future is to focus on making yourself feel better in the present. Ask yourself what can I do to feel a little bit better? Maybe it’s a fun activity or doing something relaxing. Ask yourself if there is some way to change or “tweak” what you are thinking that is more pleasant. If you can turn your focus away from thinking about possible future events, you will find that the worry will lessen.
One of the most interesting effects of turning your focus to the present is that your future just seems to work out fine. Everything starts to come together. Your outlook becomes brighter. It’s a self fulfilling prophecy.
Bottom line: If you want your future to improve, make sure you improve your present first.
Michael
Each day provides its own gifts. – American Proverb
It’s not the big things that make our day, but the little ones that pop in our lives all the time. Those are the gifts that enrich our existence and make us want to live another day.
The call from a friend at just the right moment. A smile made between strangers. Someone letting you turn at a busy intersection. The smell of freshly mowed grass. The aroma of a fresh pot of coffee in the morning.
The sound of waves pounding the shore. The wind blowing through the trees. Listening to your favorite song. Getting a little dance in when no one is looking.
Experiencing the unconditional love that only a dog can give. Holding hands for no reason. Reaching a solution to a problem. Flying a kite.
Getting a massage. Taking a long, hot shower. Driving on a country road. Reading a good book by the fireplace. Eating your favorite dessert. Watching fireworks.
Sleeping 30 minutes longer. Staying in your pajamas all day. Playing music with a friend. Enjoying your hobby or hobbies.
Cooking and then eating a wonderful dinner. Getting an unexpected hug.
Hanging out with the family. Going on an adventure within walking distance of your house. Watching your favorite movie.
Try to notice the small gifts throughout your day. It might surprise you how many there are.
Michael
Tags: Emotional Health
I learned…that one can never go back, that one should not ever try to go back–that the essence of life is going forward. Life is really a One Way Street. – Agatha Christi
We try to go back . We attempt to live in the past. We feel guilty for past mistakes. We long for the simpler times. We reminisce about how good things used to be. All these things take our focus away from right now.
To live means to move forward. To enjoy life means to sift and choose through the constant flow of “stuff” that comes our way. Happiness comes from the thoughts we think right now and the choices we make. As life isn’t static, this process is a continuous adjustment.
When we focus on the past, we miss the subltleties of the present moment. We miss the opportunites to adjust and therefore manage our level of happiness.
We can’t go back. We can only try to stubbornly stand stationary or we can let life take us forward. The past isn’t fun. Staying stationary is painful. Moving forward is relief.
Michael
Tags: Emotional Health
I am fortunate to have a handful of very close friends who seem to be experiencing life in parallel to mine. We all seem to be learning similar things. We have similar believe systems. Our paths run close together and periodically crisscross in interesting ways.
When we are together we have experiences that the only word I can use to adequately describe them is magical. Some of my experiences with this group of people have been beyond extraordinary. These are transcendent experiences that have propelled me forward in my own growth and understanding of the universe we live in.
The trust level is extremely high. We would do anything for each other at any time. The love is very deep. The word “friends” has not been good enough to describe these special people in my life. They are like family, but aren’t. So, I use the term spiritual family. It seems to fit quite well.
My life would not be as rich without them. I don’t think I would have grown as much without their help and compassion. We share a bond that runs deep and feels like it has existed for lifetimes. Maybe it has. I simply don’t know.
Today, I acknowledge the special gifts these friends are and how fortunate I am to have them in my life. I look forward to many more. J
Michael
Tags: Guidance